A Satire of Sorts: I’m So Confused. Taken From ‘Welcome Back Kotter’

Written By Thomas Perez. January 20, 2011 at 10:21pm.


It’s a beautiful summer’s day. Three believers are passing out Gospel tracts. A lonely unbeliever passes by all of them and takes the time to listen to their proposals….

UNBELIEVER – “When I listen to the method’s of faith, all of you are going to have new respect for me – the Unbeliever!” For then I will grow and hope to be a better person!”

UNBELIEVER – “So fire away!”

CALVIN – “Show unconditional faith!”

ARMINIAN – “Show conditional faith!”

UNI – “Love, love, love….la, la”….

CALVIN – “Tie your shoes!”

ARMINIAN – “Quote the sinners prayer now!”

UNI – All, all, all….la, la, la…..

CALVIN – “Uphold the creeds!”

ARMINIAN – “Quote our creed instead, now!”

UNI – Peace, peace, peace….La, la, la”….

CALVIN – “You better be a tulip!”

ARMINIAN – “Respond to the alter call, now!”

UNI – No need, no need, no need to fret….La, la, la”….

UNBELIEVER – “I’m so confused!”

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